In the path of da’wah, callers to Islam often encounter a significant and heartbreaking obstacle: the negative behavior of some who identify as Muslims. Their actions can create a formidable barrier between the message of truth and the hearts of those observing them. This story illustrates the critical importance of distinguishing the divine principles of Islam from the human imperfections of those who claim to follow them.
We met a non-Muslim woman named Emelyne during our daily dawah visits, who was living with a Muslim partner. It quickly became clear that her life was marked by distress. The Muslim man in question was, in fact, behaving in ways that were deeply contrary to Islamic teachings—displaying a lack of kindness, respect, and moral integrity. His partner was deeply unhappy, and her pain had directly shaped her perception of his religion.
When we approached Emelyne with the invitation to Islam, she immediately pointed to her companion’s conduct as her primary reason for rejection. “How can I consider a religion, “she implicitly questioned, “when the one who professes it behaves so poorly?” Her pain was valid, and her reasoning was a natural consequence of his actions.
We listened with empathy and then gently clarified a fundamental distinction. We explained the beautiful moral principles of Islam—its emphasis on justice, compassion, mercy, honesty, and the sacred rights owed to one another. We highlighted that the teachings of the Quran and the impeccable example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stand as a perfect standard, while human beings are fallible. We clarified that the mistakes of her companion were his own, a result of his personal failings and not a reflection of Islamic doctrine. In fact, his behavior was a direct violation of it.
This clarification was a revelation for her. She appreciated the visit and the clear explanation that separated the faith from its flawed representative. Recognizing the inherent truth and beauty in Islam’s teachings, she embraced the religion wholeheartedly, her decision based on the divine source, not the human failure.
Understanding that the work of da’wah is also about nurturing the existing community, we did not stop there. We decided to meet with her partner. In a brotherly and sincere manner, we spoke to him about the gravity of his situation. We reminded him that his behavior was not only damaging his relationship but was also actively driving someone away from the path of Allah. We encouraged him to repent, reform his character, and adopt the conduct worthy of a true Muslim, one that invites people to goodness rather than pushing them away.
This story is a powerful lesson in two parts: first, for seekers, to look beyond the Muslims to the message of Islam itself; and second, for Muslims, to understand the immense responsibility we carry. Our manners are the first dawah people see, and our shortcomings can be the greatest barrier we erect.
